To those individuals out there who eat burrito...
takeawakyinmyshoes: You’re wrong. Don’t tell me it’s easier to eat a burrito bowl with a fork. It just isn’t. That’s like saying you’d rather dig with a rake than a shovel. Use a spoon.
eleventhdoctor: i may not be beautiful but at least i know a lot of useless information
napoleonbonapoptart: If you get me chipotle you will get chipotlaid
takeawakyinmyshoes: why do i even go to school anymore? i have such a fulfilling career as a pokemon trainer
Reblog if your dick glows in the dark.
thegoodygoody: what the fuck, 3 million notes?! also, not reblogging because my dick glows in the dark, just saying.
How to break up with someone
You: Your ex is attractive.
Partner: Which one?
Argument I heard on the bus
Guy 1: no, niggah, gay bros can raise babies. Look at that warthog motherfucker and that ferret thing that raised Simba. And that niggah became king of motherfucking Africa.
Me at SVMS: What cycle is it today?
Me in NHS: Is it odd or even?
Me in college: What day of the week is it?
Me in the real world: Fuck it same shit every day.
takeawakyinmyshoes: dampsandwich: tell your mom she left her yugioh deck at my house last night Lollll
What is Community College?
In accounting class we received our tests back today. Tests are out of 100.
Guy who sits next to me: How did you do?
Me: I did good!, I got 6 wrong, how did you do?
Guy: I got 7
Me: Oh nice nice! congratulations
Me: *glances over* ...oh you got 7 as in 7 in total
Anonymous asked: you're really sexy...
esexist: guys im literally so out of shape like internet explorer could probably run faster then me
rneerkat: hey are you a bank because you need to leave me a loan